A warning issued earlier today in has caused panic among residents in Moscow after a nuclear reactor exploded, causing radioactive debris to litter a nearby farmer’s field early Friday morning. This area was The finals of the annual snowman build were cut short when a nuclear reactor exploded and infected those snowmen located nearby. It is estimated that over two million snowmen were contaminated.
“Der vas humungous big boom, and ‘zen dere ver snowmin, take over,” Viktor Verbinsky told reporters in an interview shortly after the explosion.
The snowmen began to disperse, many reaching the downtown plaza by early afternoon (shown right.) The Royal Russian SWAT teams were called into action to help control the snowmen’s population. Residents have been warned and have been directed to keep all pets and children inside for the remainder of the holidays. Many of those in fear of becoming prisoners have equipped themselves with high-powered hair dryers in the event that they are captured. The snowmen invasion is predicted to last until the end of the week when temperatures are expected to warm up.
To date four deaths have been reported by careless citizens, with many others left injured. One man attempted to take the carrot nose off of a snowman before being pummeled with snow balls and the white-washed until he suffered severe brain freeze. He is in hospital where he is expected to make a full recovery.
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